Men Pursuing Purity

Joe Guenther will be facilitating a 5 week Men's discussion group using the booklet Men Pursuing Purity by Ron Citlau in association with Desert Stream Ministries.

The group will start either Tuesday 21st November or Wednesday 22nd November, depending on the schedules of the men who sign up. The location has yet to be determined.

To sign up for this group, or for any questions you may have, please eMail Joe privately at joeg222@comcast.net. A signup sheet will also be available at the Vineyard.

Jesus Loves Porn Stars

Our guest speaker today was Craig Gross from XXX Church. It all started around 4 years ago as Craig & Mike Foster discussed the problem with pornography as they ate dinner at P.F. Chang's

Stats/Facts:

Percentage of pornography viewers/customers who are women: 30%

Average age of kids' introduction to porn: 10 years old

Number of porn sites on the internet: 390,000,000

Percentage of the internet which is related to pornography: 60% (and that does not include iPods or cell phones)

Percentage of people who look at porn while all alone: 70% Why? Shame and embarrassment. In a society where we're already over our heads in loneliness, pornography does not promote relationships. It simply feeds loneliness.

As married pastors, Craig & Mike wrestled with the idea that we can't blame the dark for being dark -- but we can blame the light for not being light! So he & Mike went to a porn show in Las Vegas. They rented a booth for $5000.00 and brought their wives.

They offered something better than pornography. When you fill your lives with something empty, there is something better for you!

The porn industry is smart. 70,000+ people attend these conventions, and they hold it the same weekend as the Consumer Electronics show.

The people at the show and in the industry are also honest. Some of them have said to Craig & Mike:

I'm empty.

Now I'm divorced.

I brought it into my marriage and now my wife wants it out.

The show promoters contacted Craig & Mike and asked them to come back. When the issue of finances came up, they actually gave them a non-profit discount and invited them to Los Angeles and then again to Las Vegas the following year. They've been going there for 4 years now. They bring hair & make-up artists who do free makeovers and let women know they are beautiful and loved -- not because of the big hair or fake eyelashes. Just because of who they are as a daughter of God.

But pornography is sin.

Sin is simply open rebellion: trying to do your own thing your own way, instead of following God. We all fall into that. Paul talked about this in his letter to the Romans.

I know I am rotten through and through so far as my sinful nature is concerned...

Thank God I'm delivered through Jesus Christ.

Mike & Craig are helping porn stars out of the industry. The first one, named Trinity took them up on it. They gave her money for job training and relocation, even bought her a car! A year later she was disillusioned. She had to come to grips with what Craig & Mike know: They can help someone out of the porn industry, but only Jesus can offer them something better!

After 4 years of being there at the shows, this past year they gave away bibles. There're student bibles, water-proof bibles, duct tape bibles, and even trucker bibles! XXXChurch has shirts that say "Jesus loves porn stars" so they thought

Why not have a bible that says
Jesus Loves Porn Stars
on the cover?

After a lot of emphatic "No!" answers from publishers, they finally found a company to print the bibles. They took 3,500 bibles -- totaling 1,700 pounds. At first they were worried about being able to give away that many, but they were gone within 24 hrs. Ron Jeremy (a famous porn star) told Craig & Mike: "You're on to something. No one is going to throw these away!"

Craig is not sure what people do with them, but we do know this: when people open them and read them and allow God in, it can change their life. God doesn't promise the current situation will all go away in an instant. It may take some time. But it will change. The same is true with us. Whatever our thing is; whatever our sin is -- God says He won't hold it against us and He'll erase it from our past. He'll forgive us and cleanse us.

It is important to talk to someone about it; deal with reality. Porn is a fantasy world and is a set of baggage we carry around. It doesn't go away when someone gets married and has free access to sex. The issue is bringing something into the light. We can't get through this if we can't talk about it. Get monitoring software. Deal with it honestly and relationally. If you wait until you are the end of your rope -- at the dead end and at rock bottom -- it may be too late. Find and make a safe place to talk through this and get help.

Decide today to clean it up and move forward. Paul said to the Romans that sin is always tripping us up.

He told the Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality, since no other sin affects the body like this one.

How do we run when everywhere we turn it is staring us in the face?!??!

Start by identifying what it is that is tripping you up, and clean it up. Decide today to go the other way, and clean it up so you don't find yourself back where you started.

You have to physically do something with it. You can't expect someone else to do it for you or take it away from you. Filtering & accountability software applications are great resources, but it is just a beginning step. You have to make changes to your life.

Sin is holding us back. When we remove these things it is not just about making us a better person or even a better Christian. It is about allowing God to have His way. If we do, He says He will do things in and through us which are beyond our mind's wildest imaginings!

The reality is God is not angry with us. He loves us, but He doesn't make deals. We want deals. We say "God I'll get out of this when I have a wife..." or "...when I have a husband" or "...when I have more money" or "...when I have..."

But God says:

If you get out now, I can do so much with your life. I have such better plans for you!

At the end of the day, we know what we are doing that is wrong.

If we turn to Jesus and say this, and allow Him to help, He gives us a new life. If you're looking to make a deal with God, you won't find one better than that!

(we had technical difficulties recording Craig's talk on Sunday 10/29 at the Vineyard, but here is a link to the mp3 file from the same talk Craig did on Saturday night at a nearby local church)

From Flirting to Disaster

Marriage should be honored by all,
and the marriage bed kept pure...
~ Heb 13:4

The goal of this covenant agreement is to bring life and healthm establish families and grow kids. Keeping the marriage bed pure is for intimacy and oneness and fun and pleasure.

Valentines Day is not the biggest day for florists -- that is Mother's Day. Unfortunately Valentines Day is the biggest day for Private Detectives.

But no one wakes up and says "Today I will ruin my marriage and my life!" it is more often a slow progression.

During the Cold War, the U.S. came up with the idea of protecting us from a nuclear attack by developing a Distant Early Warning (D.E.W.) Line. The Bible has a D.E.W. Line for marriage as well. Proverbs 5, 6, & 7 is like a narrative: warnings and consequences.

Prov 6:20-29: Ouch! This is the warning as we go into the story. There are certain boundaries:

1) The Boundary of speech (v 24)
We think we can say anything to anyone, but this is not always best. There are boundaries of speech that keep us from adultery:
What you talk about and say about your marriage.
What you say about your spouse.
What you say about your sex life.

Honesty is a value in God's Kingdom, but it is not the highest value. Love is. If you start a sentence with "I've got to be honest with you..." you'd better add to that intro "...so I'm going to be loving".

And there are certain "never" things. Never say:
"I just want to let you know I'm finding myself attracted to you"
"I just want to let you know I'm finding myself emotionally drawn to you"
"You look beautiful." (although "That is a nice haircut" or "that is a nice scarf" -- complimenting the thing, not the person -- is OK)

2) The boundary of thought (v 25)
Sow a thought, reap a deed
Sow a deed, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a lifestyle
Sow a lifestyle, reap a destiny

Want to change your destiny? Change your thought life.

Adultery is not about how great the other person is. It is about how great you feel about yourself when you are with them. It is about your ego. Praying "Lord, take this from me" does not kill the ego. Instead, pray this: "Lord, make me unattractive to the other person" -- that prayer kills the ego.

3) The Boundary of the eyes and non-verbals like touch (v 25)
Culturally appropriate touch is healing and wonderful. But marriages can be killed without words ever being used.

4) The Boundary of jealousy
Know your spouse's boundaries.
"I don't trust you" means something deeper than you need. Better to say "I don't trust this situation" -- and sometimes "I don't trust that other person". "You I trust, now go be careful..." -- that is empowering!

What happens when you disregard these boundaries? Prov 7:6-ff

1) You'll lose your discernment and sanity
"It was like my brains fell out!"
yep

2) You'll over-spiritualize an ungodly relationship.
"Now I've found my soul mate"
nope. Spiritual unity is intimate -- so just don't go there to a place where you find yourself prayng togeter alone with someone of the opposite sex.

3) You will find your "moment of opportunity" (v 19)
When you're vulnerable:
When you are on top of your world (ego)
When you are overwhelmed (looking to medicate)
When you are in transition (anonymity)

How do we help?

1) Count the cost NOW!
God will forgive you -- your wife might kill you! =O)
Make a list of things you would lose
And make an even bigger list of the things those around you will lose

2) Nurture your marriage NOW!

3) Nurture your relationship with Jesus...NOW!
Nothing will do more for protecting your marriage!

divorce stats at large: 50%
divorce stats for Christians: 49%
divorce stats for Christians couples who pray together: 1%


the good news
1 Cor 6:9-11 ...that is what some of you were

God will judge the adulterer -- and that was done on the cross.

At the right time, to the right people, in the right situation -- tell your story. God can use that to minister powerfully to someone else.

CBS 5 Interviewed Charlie re: Porn Sunday

The report aired on the 11 o'clock news. Click one of the images below to watch the video.

"Fall" Clothes II

God is sovereign, but humanity and the earth as we know it is not the way God intended it to be. God is working His divine nature back into us. Paul tells the folks in Colossae to change their spiritual "clothes"

Taking off our "fall" clothes of sexual sins...

Colossians 3:5-10

Sexuality is a gift from God to put on @ the right time.

God is not ashamed of our sexuality
Proverbs 5:18-19
Song of Songs 5:10-16; 7:7-9

Anything of high value must be protected.

Our sexuality is of high value. The enemy of our souls is trying to get us to act and do things which do not protect the special gift God has given us. He is constantly trying to get us to put on other clothes that are not consistent with our calling to be like Christ. What ruins the gift of sexuality?

1. sexual immorality (Heb 13; Gen 39)
   when we give ourselves sexually, it takes a piece of us and gives it away to someone else. that is a good thing, in only one place: marriage


2. impurity -- the list is getting more broad! (Prov 6:27; Judges 16)


3. lust -- the most powerful sex organ you have is your brain (Matt 5:27-30)
   God measures us by our heart's internal alignment with Jesus, not external performance. The issue is the heart. It's not the first look, it is the second or third. So bounce your eyes. Pornography dehumanizes all involved and reduces the experience of sex to something distant and disconnected -- the opposite of the intimacy and oneness God designed. Guys: build up your wife's need for security by strengthening your relationship with Jesus. She will feel secure and know you are trustworthy.
   


4. evil desires (2 Sam 11:1-4)
   God redeemed things, and Solomon was born. No matter what you've done, a child is never a curse. But sin followed as well, and Solomon sinned in the same ways David did.


5. greed, which is idolatry -- sex sells
   Pornography is not about sex. It is about money.

So how do we do this? OK, ready...

DON'T THINK ABOUT PINK ELEPHANTS!It's hard isn't it? Even if you close your eyes, what do you see? The elephant is still right there.

The answer is to fill your heart and mind with something else. The answer is not just removal of what is bad -- but it is about filling ourselves with God's stuff (Phil 4:8-9). It has been said "You become what you look at"

2006 Women's Retreat

2006 Women's Retreat

Oct 1, 2006

Thanks to Jodi Reynolds & Peggy Shor for these great photos!

Living in the (real) Big Picture

spoons were handed out to everyone. Charlie told us it was OK to fidget with them and play with them while he talked, but he told us to hang onto them...if you have a chance, go grab a spoon right now to have in your hands as you read this...

As we've been studying Paul's letter to the Colossians together, we've faced the question: "What is spiritual maturity about?"

It is all too easy to allow the mindset of our surrounding culture to influence our perspective as we journey in our faith. The Bay Area is driven and performance oriented: set the goal, develop the action plan, work the plan, go for martinis when the project is closed. Spiritual maturity doesn't work that way. We need to step back and look beyond the day-to-day; we need to look at the bigger picture.

“If then you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” ~ Colossians 3:1-4, NASB.

Spiritual maturity is about our union with Jesus: we've died with Him and been raised with Him -- now that’s a big picture worth wrapping our hearts and minds around!

It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this one.
~ CS Lewis

Paul says we should set our hearts on things above: want, desire, seek out the things above. Set our minds on things above: think about them. Keep wanting. Keep thinking.

But what sort of “things above” is Paul talking about? What is that? Our clue is:

“...where Christ is seated at the right hand of God”

That is the location Paul wants is to think about: in a word, that place is heaven.

Rather than spend time looking at the Greek derivation of the words Paul used, we spent time trying to do this -- we looked at heaven (an admittedly edited version).

1. Heaven is a real place
It is not just a state of mind. There are real dynamics. Jesus looked “up” when He prayed.

But what does “real” even mean? CS Lewis said heaven is so real that if we were to go there right now in our present state, even the blades of grass on the outskirts of heaven would pass through our feet because our feet are less real than Heaven’s grass.

The book of Revelation tells us there will be music in heaven. Music has tempo and beats and rests, which implies there will be time. Rev 8 tells us Heaven was quiet for a half an hour.

We’ll have real bodies (new and better! yea!). There will be no hunger, yet we will feast, and enjoy it! in John 14 Jesus told His disciples "I go to prepare a place for you"

2. God lives in Heaven
Heaven is where the Kingdom of God exists in its purest form, yet heaven cannot contain His glory. It is where Jesus came from, where He went to, and from where He will return. When Jesus comes into our lives, heaven comes with Him. Divine moments in worship are just a foretaste -- like a kid tasting the icing on a birthday cake!

3. We will see God face to face
Revelation 22 says His servants will see His face. In Jewish culture this was huge. This was probably the biggest thing for John as He wrote the book! In Exodus 33 God told Moses “No one may see Me and live”. We can’t handle it...on this side of eternity. But in the new body, in the new place, we’ll be able to see Him. This was David’s desire as expressed in a Psalm: to behold the beauty of the Lord. John’s gospel says God lives in unapproachable light. His later letter (1 John) says we’ll be like Him, for we will see Him as He really is!

4. Heaven is our real home.
The old adage “You can’t go home again” is true, meaning when you grow up and go back, things have changed. In the Bay Area it is hard to buy a home, so we have a semi-nomadic culture with apartment rentals and job changes, etc. That’s hard, but here’s the thing we grapple with on an even deeper level: we have no real home here on this planet.

And while in heaven, we will begin to have memories of earlier "times" in heaven. It will become more and more "homey" to us. It will feel more like home after 10,000 years than it did after 1,000. Hurricanes and earthquakes and tsunamis won’t be able to damage it. Robbers and banks and layoffs/strikes won’t be able to take it away.

5. We will know each other
1 Corinthians says we will get smarter in heaven, not dumber. Our ability to remember will be better then than it is now!

6. There is continual interaction between heaven and earth
In Luke 15, Jesus said heaven rejoices when a lost person is found. In the book of Revelation, John describes servants in heaven crying out to God for judgement on earth (so while there is no biblical evidence for us talking to them and asking for things, there is evidence for "the saints" praying on our behalf!)

God answers our prayers and things change. His Son came to us. There is an interplay, and therefore, what I do matters! It matters on earth and it matters in heaven. What I do changes things. Heaven breaks in to our reality. The bible says we are "...seated with Him in the heavenly places...". That is past tense. As He is seated at the right hand of the Father, somehow so are we.

7. Heaven is not stagnant
Isaiah says at some point Lucifer rebelled. That suggests a before/after time-space event. Jesus said He was going to prepare a place for us -- so it has been changing for 2,000 years. It is not as good now and it wil be later -- and it will continue to get better and better!

8. We will experience Heaven in process
In 1 Peter we read that angels grow in their understanding. This suggests we will too.

Sin empties us, which leads to boredom. In Heaven we will have stuff to do: rest, rule, work, gaze and adore Him in His beauty. We will be fulfilled! A psalmist wrote about being in God's presence: "...at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." Our righteousness will grow and that will be a true source for continuing increase of our pleasure and fulfillment.

We will have emotions. Tears of Joy probably will be there! Emotions are good and were created by God. Jesus, in the parables, referred to the Master saying “...well done...come and share in your master’s joy”

Still got your spoon?

Charlie told a story about a little old lady holding a spoon in her hands in her casket. It was her dying wish to be buried in this way. The preacher explained:

As a little girl her mom always told her, while clearing the dinner dishes from the table in preparation for dessert, "Hold on to your spoon -- something better is coming!"

We get a foretaste now. When we feel His presence, when we feed the poor, when we take care of the environment -- we are bringing heaven to earth.

Think about these things. Set your heart on and desire these things.

And let that change your life.