Sunday, October 29, 2006

Jesus Loves Porn Stars

The #1 Christian Porn site on the Internet!Our guest speaker today was Craig Gross from XXX Church. It all started around 4 years ago as Craig & Mike Foster discussed the problem with pornography as they ate dinner at P.F. Chang's

Stats/Facts:

Percentage of pornography viewers/customers who are women: 30%

Average age of kids' introduction to porn: 10 years old

Number of porn sites on the internet: 390,000,000

Percentage of the internet which is related to pornography: 60% (and that does not include iPods or cell phones)

Percentage of people who look at porn while all alone: 70% Why? Shame and embarrassment. In a society where we're already over our heads in loneliness, pornography does not promote relationships. It simply feeds loneliness.

As married pastors, Craig & Mike wrestled with the idea that we can't blame the dark for being dark -- but we can blame the light for not being light! So he & Mike went to a porn show in Las Vegas. They rented a booth for $5000.00 and brought their wives.

They offered something better than pornography. When you fill your lives with something empty, there is something better for you!

The porn industry is smart. 70,000+ people attend these conventions, and they hold it the same weekend as the Consumer Electronics show.

The people at the show and in the industry are also honest. Some of them have said to Craig & Mike:
I'm empty.
Now I'm divorced.
I brought it into my marriage and now my wife wants it out.
The show promoters contacted Craig & Mike and asked them to come back. When the issue of finances came up, they actually gave them a non-profit discount and invited them to Los Angeles and then again to Las Vegas the following year. They've been going there for 4 years now. They bring hair & make-up artists who do free makeovers and let women know they are beautiful and loved -- not because of the big hair or fake eyelashes. Just because of who they are as a daughter of God.

But pornography is sin.

Sin is simply open rebellion: trying to do your own thing your own way, instead of following God. We all fall into that. Paul talked about this in his letter to the Romans.
I know I am rotten through and through so far as my sinful nature is concerned...

Thank God I'm delivered through Jesus Christ.
Mike & Craig are helping porn stars out of the industry. The first one, named Trinity took them up on it. They gave her money for job training and relocation, even bought her a car! A year later she was disillusioned. She had to come to grips with what Craig & Mike know: They can help someone out of the porn industry, but only Jesus can offer them something better!

After 4 years of being there at the shows, this past year they gave away bibles. There're student bibles, water-proof bibles, duct tape bibles, and even trucker bibles! XXXChurch has shirts that say "Jesus loves porn stars" so they thought
Why not have a bible that says
Jesus Loves Porn Stars
on the cover?
After a lot of emphatic "No!" answers from publishers, they finally found a company to print the bibles. They took 3,500 bibles -- totaling 1,700 pounds. At first they were worried about being able to give away that many, but they were gone within 24 hrs. Ron Jeremy (a famous porn star) told Craig & Mike: "You're on to something. No one is going to throw these away!"

Craig is not sure what people do with them, but we do know this: when people open them and read them and allow God in, it can change their life. God doesn't promise the current situation will all go away in an instant. It may take some time. But it will change. The same is true with us. Whatever our thing is; whatever our sin is -- God says He won't hold it against us and He'll erase it from our past. He'll forgive us and cleanse us.

It is important to talk to someone about it; deal with reality. Porn is a fantasy world and is a set of baggage we carry around. It doesn't go away when someone gets married and has free access to sex. The issue is bringing something into the light. We can't get through this if we can't talk about it. Get monitoring software. Deal with it honestly and relationally. If you wait until you are the end of your rope -- at the dead end and at rock bottom -- it may be too late. Find and make a safe place to talk through this and get help.

Decide today to clean it up and move forward. Paul said to the Romans that sin is always tripping us up.

He told the Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality, since no other sin affects the body like this one.

How do we run when everywhere we turn it is staring us in the face?!??!

Start by identifying what it is that is tripping you up, and clean it up. Decide today to go the other way, and clean it up so you don't find yourself back where you started.

You have to physically do something with it. You can't expect someone else to do it for you or take it away from you. Filtering & accountability software applications are great resources, but it is just a beginning step. You have to make changes to your life.

Sin is holding us back. When we remove these things it is not just about making us a better person or even a better Christian. It is about allowing God to have His way. If we do, He says He will do things in and through us which are beyond our mind's wildest imaginings!

The reality is God is not angry with us. He loves us, but He doesn't make deals. We want deals. We say "God I'll get out of this when I have a wife..." or "...when I have a husband" or "...when I have more money" or "...when I have..."

But God says:
If you get out now, I can do so much with your life. I have such better plans for you!
At the end of the day, we know what we are doing that is wrong.

If we turn to Jesus and say this, and allow Him to help, He gives us a new life. If you're looking to make a deal with God, you won't find one better than that!

(we had technical difficulties recording Craig's talk on Sunday 10/29 at the Vineyard, but here is a link to the mp3 file from the same talk Craig did on Saturday night at a nearby local church)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

From Flirting to Disaster

Marriage should be honored by all,
and the marriage bed kept pure...
~ Heb 13:4
The goal of this covenant agreement is to bring life and healthm establish families and grow kids. Keeping the marriage bed pure is for intimacy and oneness and fun and pleasure.

Valentines Day is not the biggest day for florists -- that is Mother's Day. Unfortunately Valentines Day is the biggest day for Private Detectives.

But no one wakes up and says "Today I will ruin my marriage and my life!" it is more often a slow progression.

During the Cold War, the U.S. came up with the idea of protecting us from a nuclear attack by developing a Distant Early Warning (D.E.W.) Line. The Bible has a D.E.W. Line for marriage as well. Proverbs 5, 6, & 7 is like a narrative: warnings and consequences.

Prov 6:20-29: Ouch! This is the warning as we go into the story. There are certain boundaries:

1) The Boundary of speech (v 24)

We think we can say anything to anyone, but this is not always best. There are boundaries of speech that keep us from adultery:
What you talk about and say about your marriage.
What you say about your spouse.
What you say about your sex life.

Honesty is a value in God's Kingdom, but it is not the highest value. Love is. If you start a sentence with "I've got to be honest with you..." you'd better add to that intro "...so I'm going to be loving".

And there are certain "never" things. Never say:
"I just want to let you know I'm finding myself attracted to you"
"I just want to let you know I'm finding myself emotionally drawn to you"
"You look beautiful." (although "That is a nice haircut" or "that is a nice scarf" -- complimenting the thing, not the person -- is OK)

2) The boundary of thought (v 25)

Sow a thought, reap a deed
Sow a deed, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a lifestyle
Sow a lifestyle, reap a destiny

Want to change your destiny? Change your thought life.

Adultery is not about how great the other person is. It is about how great you feel about yourself when you are with them. It is about your ego. Praying "Lord, take this from me" does not kill the ego. Instead, pray this: "Lord, make me unattractive to the other person" -- that prayer kills the ego.

3) The Boundary of the eyes and non-verbals like touch (v 25)

Culturally appropriate touch is healing and wonderful. But marriages can be killed without words ever being used.

4) The Boundary of jealousy

Know your spouse's boundaries.
"I don't trust you" means something deeper than you need. Better to say "I don't trust this situation" -- and sometimes "I don't trust that other person". "You I trust, now go be careful..." -- that is empowering!

What happens when you disregard these boundaries? Prov 7:6-ff

1) You'll lose your discernment and sanity

"It was like my brains fell out!"
yep

2) You'll over-spiritualize an ungodly relationship.

"Now I've found my soul mate"
nope. Spiritual unity is intimate -- so just don't go there to a place where you find yourself prayng togeter alone with someone of the opposite sex.

3) You will find your "moment of opportunity" (v 19)

When you're vulnerable:
When you are on top of your world (ego)
When you are overwhelmed (looking to medicate)
When you are in transition (anonymity)

How do we help?

1) Count the cost NOW!

God will forgive you -- your wife might kill you! =O)
Make a list of things you would lose
And make an even bigger list of the things those around you will lose

2) Nurture your marriage NOW!


3) Nurture your relationship with Jesus...NOW!

Nothing will do more for protecting your marriage!

divorce stats at large: 50%
divorce stats for Christians: 49%
divorce stats for Christians couples who pray together: 1%


the good news
1 Cor 6:9-11 ...that is what some of you were

God will judge the adulterer -- and that was done on the cross.

At the right time, to the right people, in the right situation -- tell your story. God can use that to minister powerfully to someone else.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

CBS 5 Interviewed Charlie re: Porn Sunday

The report aired on the 11 o'clock news. Click one of the images below to watch the video.
Watch the video on CBS 5's website
Watch the video on CBS 5's website
Watch the video on CBS 5's website

Sunday, October 15, 2006

"Fall" Clothes II

God is sovereign, but humanity and the earth as we know it is not the way God intended it to be. God is working His divine nature back into us. Paul tells the folks in Colossae to change their spiritual "clothes"

Taking off our "fall" clothes of sexual sins...

Colossians 3:5-10
Sexuality is a gift from God to put on @ the right time.
God is not ashamed of our sexuality
Proverbs 5:18-19
Song of Songs 5:10-16; 7:7-9
Anything of high value must be protected.
Our sexuality is of high value. The enemy of our souls is trying to get us to act and do things which do not protect the special gift God has given us. He is constantly trying to get us to put on other clothes that are not consistent with our calling to be like Christ. What ruins the gift of sexuality?
  1. sexual immorality (Heb 13; Gen 39)
    when we give ourselves sexually, it takes a piece of us and gives it away to someone else. that is a good thing, in only one place: marriage

  2. impurity -- the list is getting more broad! (Prov 6:27; Judges 16)

  3. lust -- the most powerful sex organ you have is your brain (Matt 5:27-30)
    God measures us by our heart's internal alignment with Jesus, not external performance. The issue is the heart. It's not the first look, it is the second or third. So bounce your eyes. Pornography dehumanizes all involved and reduces the experience of sex to something distant and disconnected -- the opposite of the intimacy and oneness God designed. Guys: build up your wife's need for security by strengthening your relationship with Jesus. She will feel secure and know you are trustworthy.

  4. evil desires (2 Sam 11:1-4)
    God redeemed things, and Solomon was born. No matter what you've done, a child is never a curse. But sin followed as well, and Solomon sinned in the same ways David did.

  5. greed, which is idolatry -- sex sells
    Pornography is not about sex. It is about money.
So how do we do this? OK, ready...

DON'T THINK ABOUT PINK ELEPHANTS!
It's hard isn't it? Even if you close your eyes, what do you see? The elephant is still right there.

The answer is to fill your heart and mind with something else. The answer is not just removal of what is bad -- but it is about filling ourselves with God's stuff (Phil 4:8-9). It has been said "You become what you look at"

Sunday, October 01, 2006

2006 Women's Retreat



Thanks to Jodi Reynolds & Peggy Shor for these great photos!